


Worth

by Symera



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:50:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8558521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Symera/pseuds/Symera
Summary: Daesung thightened his grip on the hilt of the knife. The tip of it touched the skin of his throat and a single drop of blood ran down his throat into the cold water.
--Inspired by the car accident Daesung had in 2011, but still a work of pure fiction





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nuimee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuimee/gifts).



> This is my first fanfiction posted on Ao3 so please leave comments and kudos if you liked it. As for all of the spelling mistakes... english is not my first language so please watch out.  
> Of course Big Bang doesn't belong to me, but to YG.

Daesung sat on the couch in the living room of their dorm, his legs pulled up and staring straight ahead. It was quiet. Seunghyun was in his room, while Youngbae, Jiyong and Seungri where away on a photoshot and interview for a magazine. Seunghyun had volunteered to stay behind to keep an eye on the younger member, who refused to look or talk to them in any way. He simply thought it would be safer. Even so, he didn't leave his room yet, from where he had been working on his music.

The music stopped and the door opened. Seunghyun looked at the younger, who still refused to look at them, with sad eyes. He sighed.

"I'm going out to buy some snacks, do you want anything?" He asked. Daesung shook his head hard. Seunghyun sighed again. "I'll bring you something anyways. You've been losing to much weight in the last time." He grabbed his things. "Don't move, allright?" He said as he closed the door behind himself, somehow knowing it would be unnecessary.

Daesung felt tears prickle in his eyes. He did not deserve any of this. He hugged his knees thighter and hid his head in them to sob quietly. A voice assaulted his mind.

_"Do it! Just kill yourself! The world doesn't want to see a murderer on stage! Especially not with people that genius!"_ It screamed at him. _"Even Seunghyun left you!"_

Daesung covered his ear with his hands and shook his head. "Shut up!" He hissed at the voice.

The voice continued. _"But it's true. He left you alone. The person you love the most left you alone. Even he doesn't want to be with a murderer. Who would anyway?"_ The voice softened. _"Just kill yourself before you get hurt further."_

His eyes were somehow automatically drawn to the kitchen board with the knifes. "If I kill myself, will you shut up?" He asked the voice.

_"Everyting will be better."_ It reassured him.

"Allright." Daesung stood up, shortly swaying because he stayed in that position for too long. He carefully approached the kitchen board, eyes locked on a particular big knife and picked it up. It was heavy and cold in his hand. He pointed it towards his throat. "No, not here. Would be too bloody." He mumbled to himself. Daesung let his arm sink and slowly entered the bathroom, not bothering to lock the door. He let himself sink into the bathtub and opened the tap. The water was cold, but he didn't care. He raised the knife again with a trembling hand. He thightened his grip on the hold and grabbed it with both hands. The tip of the blade touched the skin of his throat. A drop of blood fell into the water. The Bathtub was almost half filled now and his clothes were already soaked through, but he didn't care. Tears escaped his eyes.

Suddenly the door was ripped open and the knife was knocked out of his hands. He opened his eyes. Seunghyun was kneeling in the tub infront of him. He looked at him with sad eyes. "Daesung, why?"

Daesung only let out a broken sob and tried to curl in on himself, but the older one held his arms in a thight grip. "Seunghyun-hyung," he wimmered, "please let me go. I need to-"

"You don't! Daesung don't kill yourself. We need you. I need you!"

The younger only shook his head in disbelief. "Who could ever be in need of someone like me? I killed someone." He wisphered, repeating what the voice told him. Seunghyun stared at him for a few seconds, before he leaned forwards to hug the other one. Daesung let him.

"Oh, Dae, don't do this to yourself. It was an accident. You had no power over it." He stroked his hair. Daesung shook his head again. "I should have noticed him."

"You can't change it now. Don't let yourself be broken down by others. You are better than that. I know it." He kissed his forehead,still hugging him. They stayed like that for a while, until Seunghyun decided that they needed to change clothes. He helped Daesung out of his old clothes and got him a new sweatshirt and swaetpants, before he got dressed himself. Daesung finally looked at him. Seunghyun smiled.

"How about an afternoon of hanging out on the couch and eating cake? We can watch Jiyong´'s drama and laugh about him." Daesung nodded with a small smile.

~

When Jiyong, Seungri and Youngbae returned, they found Daesung and Seunghyun sleeping on the couch, the TV still on with credits of a movie and two dirty plates with chocolate bits still on them on the table. Daesung rested his head on the older mans shoulder. Seungri giggled slightly and took a photo of the two.


End file.
